I love names, and professional football players tend to have extremely interesting ones. These are the best of the bunch, as decided by combing through every NFL roster in search of the lyrical, the alliterative, and the downright strange.
Two personal favorites: Cowboys receiver/return man Lucky Whitehead, who sounds like a gangster from 1920s Chicago, and Jaguars linebacker Thurston Armbrister, who almost certainly served in the House of Lords during the 19th century. But the beauty of this list really is in the eye of the beholder.
Away we go, from A to Z — or, rather, from Prince Amukamara to Frank Zombo.
FIRST-TEAM OFFENSE
QB Teddy Bridgewater, MIN
RB Charcandrick West, KC
FB Kyle Juszczyk, BAL
WR Lucky Whitehead, DAL
WR Jerricho Cotchery, CAR
TE Phillip Supernaw, TEN
T D’Brickashaw Ferguson, NYJ
G J.R. Sweezy, SEA
C Braxston Cave, DET
G Richie Incognito, BUF
T LaAdrian Waddle, NE
K Cairo Santos, KC
LS L.P. Ladouceur, DAL
FIRST-TEAM DEFENSE
DE Frostee Rucker, ARI
DT Leger Douzable, NYJ
DE O’Brien Schofield, ATL
LB Barkevious Mingo, CLE
LB Thurston Armbrister, JAC
LB Frank Zombo, KC
LB Whitney Mercilus, HOU
CB Bashaud Breeland, WAS
CB Captain Munnerlyn, MIN
S Jaquiski Tartt, SF
S Baccari Rambo, BUF
P Marquette King, OAK
SECOND-TEAM OFFENSE
QB Colt McCoy, WAS
RB Dreamius Smith, SD
RB Fozzy Whittaker, CAR
WR Cecil Shorts III, JAC
WR Odell Beckham Jr., NYG
TE Busta Anderson, SF
T King Dunlap, SD
G Laurent Duvernay-Tardif, KC
C Weston Richburg, NYG
G Vladimir Ducasse, CHI
T Gosder Cherilus, TB
K Ryan Succop, TEN
SECOND-TEAM DEFENSE
DE Owamagbe Odighizuwa, NYG
DT Rakeem Nunez-Roches, KC
DT Ndamukong Suh, MIA
DE Caushaud Lyons, PIT
LB Cordarro Law, SD
LB Chi Chi Ariguzo, SD
LB Deiontrez Mount, TEN
CB Prince Amukamara, NYG
CB Aqib Talib, DEN
S HaSean “Ha Ha” Clinton-Dix, GB
S Marqueston Huff, TEN
P Tress Way, WAS